Wednesday, September 2, 2009

things i learnt over the week

1.

Karaoke is tougher than finding a taxi that’s willing to go from bandra to mahim.

The words go too fast, drunk people who are not part of your group mumble right into your ear and throw you off; peanuts when thrown at the back of your head can be felt. And dutch courage will make you do anything.

If it wasn’t for the other two brave girls, I would have dissolved into a little puddle right there.

2.

I am a hypocrite.

A friend told me about her friend whose boyfriend is ten years younger than her. And I gasped and said, “That’s not good, it’s doomed.”

She looked at me scornfully and said why, and I was left mumbling something about parents, and older sisters and children. She walked off shaking her head in despair. Dude, I’m stuck in the nineties.

3.

I am so wannabe.

I got invited to a party by a lesbian couple. And I was so excited that I called most of my friends to tell them that. A turned to me, and said, “What’s the big deal you know?”

Yeah, what’s the big deal? But I just felt so cool to be invited to a rainbow party. And I have lesbian friends too you know. Seriously, i’m so not cool.

4.

No.1 job for horny guys

Yes, I shall direct you to the right place. I have been watching entourage on DVD, and I just figured that when they showed the stuff on TV, it was tamer than Tulsi Virani.

They just cut off all the nudity, the making out, the playboy mansion shots. All hacked. By some guy who goes ‘oh my, there’s boob, chop chop.’

What does he say when people ask him, “ Beta tum karte kya ho?”

“Aunty main apke bacchon ki maan maryada ka khayal rakhta hoon.”

Or,

“Aunty main slasher hoon.”

5.

Too much of a good thing is well, too much.

Back to back Entourage. For six days. Think I’ll throw up by the time I finish season 4 tomorrow.

6.

Women can be bitches. And how.

So there’s a guy they think is cute. He doesn’t give them much attention. They’re not his type, he’s not their type. They tell me he’s doing so well for himself because he’s sleeping with the woman boss.

Grapes are sour, when it comes to scorned women.

7.

Booty call

A friend enlightened us. We laughed our heads off. Ya, this is what he said, “When we have nothing better to do we get together for a booty call.”

Nothing better to do??? Like nails are cut, cable is not working, not even a half decent book to read, Ipod is bust, fine then, let’s just give a booty call.

okay, whatever gets your motor running i guess.

picture credit: media.photobucket.com

13 comments:

Perakath said...

Haha... number 4 cracked me up.

Apparently there are such things as Karaoke Jockeys, did you know? KJ, spin that shit.

Nu said...

Hmmm last time when I wrote this kind of post which had several things happened over a period of time..that post was named as "this and that" post...so I give your post the same name :)

But I must say you write really well and the pun is so visible and ticklish :)

"main aapke baccho ki maan maryada...." LOL

slash\\ said...

Never ceases to amaze, no? The 'blogworthy' life. See what i meant? That's one happening life you're consuming.

agent green glass said...

@perakath: wat does your name mean? KJ's eh? nice job, not recommended for sensitive years.

@nu: k. thanks.

@ slash: notice carefully. my life consisted of back to back entourage and office. with the exception of one karaoke nite. the rest is all other people's happening lives. sigh!

agent green glass said...

@perakath: damn. ears not years.

slash\\ said...

o ya. welcome to the club.
no wait. at least you know 'other people' whose lives are happening.
exit club.

Perakath said...

My name? It means either "big house" or "big wind", depending on whether you're my mom or my schoolmates having a bit of a laugh. Big Chief Big Wind, let one rip-- that sort of thing. My dad is Malayali, if that explains anything.

I'd like to hear you try pronouncing it, though-- that's the real tickler. It keeps things interesting, having a unique name does...

Eveline said...

Point 3 reminds me of me cos that's how i used to get when my gay friends used to call me out. Now i realise that's kinda sad!

And what's the deal with the F^%&* Buddies?? I dont get it. If you think you're too cool and are too good for relationships then there's a thing called 'Being Single'. Sigh. Kids these days. :P

agent green glass said...

@slash: wat can i say? here's what we're deciding between - not having a happening life and not having a happening life, and knowing other people who have a happening life.

ummm...either which ways we're not winning.

@perakath: ooh. pronouncing your name should be a breeze!

@eveline: there's a thing called being single - ha, i like this take.

btw, thanks a lot. went to your blog. loved it. and decided to get off my ass and put some music on the blog. so the div player is up!

Anonymous said...

i don't know how weired i will sound but agent recently i am planning to sell my flat and informed a broker regarding the same do i need to take any other step to fasten the whole process. and why i am asking you this ........i don't know actually....

agent green glass said...

dear anon: there are many steps you can take.

step 1: ring the neighbours bell at 1am, 2am, 3am, 4am. do this for a week, maybe he'll help you sell the flat faster.

step 2: stop cleaning the house. at all. don't throw the garbage out. let the pizza boxes, beer bottles pile up. don't wash ur clothes either. when rats infest the building, the society will help ya sell.

step 3: call all the brokers in your city. promise them a 50% commission on the sale.

step 4: listen to fray. really nice music.

ani_aset said...

hahaha on 4. aunty main maan maryada ka dhyan rakhta hoo
P.S: aunty aap please hamari madad karein :D

Spazsim Chasm said...

super you are.

hahaha @ Grapes are sour, when it comes to scorned women.