Tuesday, September 22, 2009

why i will not get a farewell

So S asked Y to buy her a pair of slippers from Bangkok.

Y bought the slippers and sent them back through Z.

Z walked up to me at work and said, “I got you your funky slippers from Bangkok.”

I was like, “What funky slippers?”

“The one’s Y bought for you. They are beautiful. Purple silk.”

Me, I got all teary eyed. Really Y was too sweet. Just because I’m leaving she got me purple silk slippers. And we’re not even best friends. So I sniffed and prepared my thank you speech.

The next day Z hands me the slippers. And they are fantastic. Purple silk with crazy gold lines. All kill bill.

I stare at them all day, and sigh. And think really, I must be so fantastic, and everyone must love me so much. Sure, they don’t always show it, and most of them think I’m a bitch, but now that I’m leaving, they must be sad.

In the evening, just before I leave for home, I dump my bag and the slippers on S’s desk, before popping in to the loo. (apologies to Sulabh Sauchalaya, my old friend)

I come out of the loo, to see S eyeing the slippers.

Just as I’m about to gush, she says, “Where did you get them from?”

“Bangkok. Y, the sweetest thing on earth bought them for me.”

“That’s strange. I gave Y money to buy me the same slippers. I even drew my foot size for her, and gave her a reference picture of the slippers.”


I clutch the slippers. I’ve stared at them all day. Tried them on my feet all day. S is staring at me in shock. She’s been waiting for them for days.

Anyway, we both wail and cry for fifteen minutes, and then S finally lets me have the slippers because I’m leaving, and I use that as my trump card.

But, it doesn’t end there.

The next day Z is teary eyed. She’s discovered that she made a mistake; she was to give the slippers to S.

Y is fuming.
“Why did you give the slippers to that bitch? And who asked you to give the slippers before I got back from Bangkok. I bought them, I should have given them”

Z protests. Then she asks me to return the slippers.

I laugh, and flatly refuse.

Y sails in to her some more. Z is so upset. She cries on S’s shoulder. S and I laugh. Y stops talking to me. Z promises that she’ll get someone she knows to get the slippers for S. Y is not happy with the compromise. And stops talking to Z as well, who by the way has stopped talking to me. I laugh at them every time they pass, and wave my pretty slippered feet around.

Wow. How will I survive without the thrills of office life.

Back to the lousy computer in office. Today is Traveling Wilbury’s day. I’ve been playing Tweeter and the Monkey Man non stop, because I absolutely love the song. And since I can not for the life of me figure out how to put the music player thing on my blog, and I can’t find the song on youtube, I’ll just link you to End of the Line instead. Which is equally awesome. Also check out Dirty World and Last Night.
Happiness is not a cigar called hamlet, it’s a band called Traveling Wilbury’s.


Meghana Naidu said...

For real?
wow girl-girl land seems fun.
and what's more Freebies!

why cant you put the player on your site? where is it getting screwed up?

Atrisa said...

Haha. Dying to see the slippers in contention!

Saltwater Blues said...

Email me on saltwaterblues@gmail.com. I'll tell you how to put in the music player like I got on the Blues.

And give those damn slippers back! What goes around comes around don't you know? ... Or do you not
believe in stuff like that? :)

C'mon AGG, we know you're not such a devil at heart - give those slippers back.

agent green glass said...

@meghana: girl-girl land makes me feel like i work inside a porn site.

far from it.

the freebies are fun though.

the player is just getting totally screwed up. i copy paste the embed code that i get from the div player on HTML, and then it goes all haywire.

@atrisa: ya. i should have put a pix. but i don't want the evil eye thing on them. kidding.

no, actually i shall put up a pix.

@SwB: yeahhhh. will do so now.

and nope, i'm not giving back the slippers. i saw my name written in the golden lines.

or don't you believe in stuff like that? : )

pawan said...

An intense slipper drama :P
Gosh, hope they are worth the fight for u!