Friday, September 18, 2009

umm..eh...actually...aaah...uum...


Okay, so at some point we’ve all met someone with really bad body odour. You know the if you raise your arm once more I’ll gag and pass out variety.

And we’ve secretly told someone else, “ shit, he/she has such bad BO.” And then the follow up conversation is usually about chinese food gone bad and the fact that if you are close friends then maybe you should tell the person.

But I’m a coward and can never figure how you tell a person that. And don’t tell me you should gift them a deo. Because that’s as good as taking a spray can and writing ‘you stink’ in shocking pink across their chest.

Any way this post is not about that. This is about the visible panty line.

Two women in office. With the worst case of loose cotton panties ever.

First, if you are wearing pants, then make sure the panties fit well. And are somewhat close to the shade of trouser you are wearing. So, unless you are colour blind, no maroon panty with white trousers. And no white panty with white trousers. Try something called skin coloured instead.

Second, do not wear aunty type panties with your low rise jeans. Wear a thong, wear boy shorts, wear anything, but don’t have yards of loose cotton panty stuffing sticking out from your backside.

Third, we all know you're probably wearing a panty. But it doesn't really have to stare us in the face. So maybe you've got rid of the clumpy cotton panty, now please try and find one that has no panty line. Believe me, they are available, and will spare us all the trauma of seeing how woefully tight your undies are.

Oh and while I’m at it. Just one last thing on the bra scene as well. Frayed once-white, now-yellow bra straps are not meant to be seen. Keep them for when you are playing holi.

Now how on earth do I tell them all this, without them thinking I’m a bitch of the highest order.

Which I probably am anyway.

picture@nataliedee.com

st. germain: rose rouge. fantastic! if you don't want to drink copious quantities of wine and play poker after listening to this song, i'll change my name.

15 comments:

Choco said...

ROFL!!! No. You are no bitch. You are just being candid. And I like. Very much :)

LostLittleGirl said...

Uh yes, don't know why most women are completely clueless about the panty lines story. And the biggest misconception women have is that white lingerie is meant to be worn with white clothes, its nude people!

I love this song to death..love st germain and all sexy french producers.

Kokonad said...

Write a poem. A nice rhyming poem.

I could help you write one!

AGG, traumatized you are, but this post was LOL funny! :)) Starting with the chinese food bit! Ha ha ha ha ha!

Naveen kumar said...

Seems u really have a hard time coping up with ur office mates

Perakath said...

A few years ago I learnt that a white shirt should be worn with a black (not white) bra, because for some reason black bras aren't very visible through white shirts.

Does the same rule apply to panties?

As the Mind Meanders said...

LOL... you are not a bitch... you are just crazy.. and thank god for that... :D

Mumbai Diva said...

grin!grin!

mentalie said...

the bitches shall save the world and make it a more beautiful place, aye say!

Eveline said...

Here’s the thing: I am obsessed with smelling clean. I don’t want to smell like flowers or fruit or any of that teenage stripper crap.
Cheers to those who dont smell like anything but their own clean selves.

I'm pretty sure I saw a co-worker's panty stuffing drop to start a drag race last week.

Thanks for the great post, I am definitely going to check out some watering hole after this :)

ani_aset said...

hehe superb AGG :) BO is hard, and you might want to add girls wearing sleveless dresses without bothering to take care of underarm hair..one girl at my dance class needs that seriously and yea she needs to do something about BO too

agent green glass said...

@choco: ah. candid can border on being a bitch. but well, yeah, i still haven't told them, so i guess I'm just candid and not a bitch.

gosh. even i don't know what that means.

@lostlittlegirl: sexy french producers. i'm with you. all the way.

@kokonad: not a bad idea. maybe i'll give it to them as my farewell gift. it is worth a try.

@naveen: naah. i love them. its like going to the zoo every morning. i'll just miss it so much.

@perakath: ummm...i'm not sure. why can't you see the black bra under a white shirt. is the shirt made of frikking canvas or wot?

@ATMM: aah. crazy is fine.

@mumbai diva: grin back

@mentalie: no...you know who will save the world. private joke, private joke. starts with sup...

@eve: i'm obsessed with underwear so i guess that's why the rant.

@ani: hee hee. i love that. hairy underarms. how french, and how gross.

so where do you go to dance? i need a new class. any ideas?

ani_aset said...

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indiegurl said...

i totally agree with black bra under white shirt policy. white bras shine out like tubelights under the shirt while black bras inexplicably do not.

@perakath - white pants are usually made of a thick-ish material, so panty-colour isnt that big a deal... but if i had to wear beige pants to work i would wear them with black chaddi.

black is best. :D

Anonymous said...

And while you're on that -

O 38DD sized full-figured woman, keep away from the push-up/demi-cup/unlined/36B bra! I wish to not see thine nips nor quadraboob.

nice post :)

-G

Miri said...

What about not wearing white bras in nightclubs - they shine like beacons under the strobe lights! Not to mention what the flash does in that group pic one takes at these dos!