how to fool millions and make millions

I went to watch twilight last evening.

I’d borrowed the book from a friend’s daughter and finished it in one go. Then someone gave me the other three. Which weren’t as hot as the first one. Dude, she gets married at 18 to a vampire, they keep trying to have sex for more than half the book and then finally voila! She has two kids in two days and then turns vampire herself.

Yesh, someone hold up a barf bag while I throw up.

Anyway, the book is a rage. And like I said, the first one is pretty neat. Some smouldering romance, solid vampire action, potential for great music.

And then comes the movie.

Here’s how they wrote the screenplay. Let’s start with page one, then go to page 20, then straight to page 80 and then page 160 and so on and so forth.

It just keeps jumping like a flea on acid.

The hero, who has way too much foundation on his face, looks so nice when he smiles. Which is precisely twice in the movie. The rest of the time the director insisted he keep peering under his eyebrows so he’d look like a vampire. He just ends up looking like he’s holding back a fart.

The heroine never smiles. And looks more washed out than the vampire.

The production values are so tacky. It screams kanjoosi.

The special effects are the comic relief.

The story is butchered.

And the effing movie raked in 70.6 million dollars.

Where’s the justice in this world?

And, on the topic of let's make love vs. let's fuck, I'll go with what this chick suggests. Let's have sexy time I think wins hands down.