Monday, July 27, 2009

saturday night fever

First, some free stuff.

The Neutrogena shop at phoenix mills. If you are really sweet, and ask for free samples, they’ll actually give you some. I have enough free wrinkle-free cream to look like a ceramic plate.

Next, the scam.

I got a violent attack of projectile vomiting on Saturday night. It got so bad that a had to take me to the hospital. If the pain and the throwing up would have been any less, i would have been excited. Visiting the emergency room at one at night. Would it be like ER? Or scrubs?

Nada. It was more like the Zee horror show. The doctor was obviously the guy who came last in class, and got dumped with the graveyard shift. He made me take X-rays, blood sugar tests and shot me with pain killers when all he had to do was give me some Mucane something liquid that settled my stomach.

The other thing is those kidney shaped vomit pans. What are they thinking? That I’m going to gargle out tiny bite-sized hors d’oeuvres. I’m like emptying my entire stomach in one shot dude. Get me a bucket, not this namby pamby little thingee.

Anyway, doctor-know-nothing tried to convince a that they should admit me. Thankfully a kept saying no, let’s first get her treated, then I’ll decide. Left to myself I would have done anything then, including written out my will in doctor-know-nothing’s name.

So by two thirty the stomach ache had subsided, and I managed to swoon into an auto to get home. The hospital bill had a large Get Well Soon printed at the bottom.

Ha. Like I believe them. Thugs.

10 comments:

ani_aset said...

Aww Take care girl..and a thumbs down for the doc..which hospital was this?

As the Mind Meanders said...

Oy... I hope you are better now... and what caused it...where did you eat... Friday night and Saturday... list them down girl and I am gonna avoid these places like a plague...

And lemme guess... the emergency room was at HF???

agent green glass said...

@ani_aset: thank you. yup, blog gore got it right. it was Holy Family.

@blog gore: wow. aap ko milte hai dus point aur siyaram suiting ki taraf se paanch sau rupaye ka gift voucher!

btw i did not eat out at all. excluding the office canteen food. which you should avoid like the plague anyway. : )

As the Mind Meanders said...

Ha Ha... That was easy... I have been there a few times and have been (un)fortunate enough to experience their fondness for hospitalizing anyone who walks through the door... man, woman, animal... anything will do...

And I have a friend who has a special fondness for the place... gets admitted there every year in December... he has been at it for four years now... this year he has moved out of Bandra and gets married in October... lets see if he can maintain his track record... I have full faith in him...

As the Mind Meanders said...

And I am a proud cheapo.. are you serious about the siyaram suiting ka gift voucher :-D

slash\\ said...

That Get Well Soon was probably not for the patients, but for the hospital itself (a la Munnabhai).
Oh, and that kidney shaped vomit dish...
"The shape of the dish allows it to be held against the patient's body to catch any falling fluids or debris."
(Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kidney_dish)
Since you were projectile-puking, guess the shape made sense, but obviously not the depth.

Mohor said...

Hahaha! Hope you are better now.
I had dengue about 5 years back and the doc insisted that we drive straight to the hospital and get me admitted. I obviously looked susceptible to sudden crashes. So we sat in the car and i made it to inside the hospital. Post my blood-test, I realized how scary hospitals really are and i cried and begged and said 'tomorrow tomorrow'. They let us go home that night and by next morning my platelet count rose with the sheer terror.

agent green glass said...

@blog gore: ha ha. okay come on...claim your gift voucher. saath jaipan mixer grinder ki taraf se ek rotation blade muft!

@slash: ooh...you pediaed it. okay..i get the shape...but how about a deep kidney. and btw the nurse was holding it a good six inches from me. i think she was terrified it would all land on her.

@mohor: hey you! wassup?

Small Miracle said...

AWWWWWWW...a big big bigggggg hugggggggggg!! i hope u are feelin much much muchhhhhhhhhhh better now!!

Spazsim Chasm said...

i'm going to get neutrogena anti wrinkle cream too !

oh, hope you're better :)