Thursday, May 27, 2010

think. thug. thong.

Abhi and I are hanging out at the promenade.

We’re watching a couple, who’ve just about starting to see each other, stumble through the awkwardness of meeting up at the promenade after work, and not having a place to go to.

She’s in allen solly for women type of pants and a shirt. He’s dressed as allen solly for men. He’s got a laptop bag on his shoulders, she’s got her large handbag.

They are walking slowly. Then they stop. Abhi and I settle back on the bench to watch.

They are maintaining a distance between themselves. Still early days, so there’s no touching just some “that guy at work is such an ass. Ha ha ha.”

She gently swinging her bag, he says something, she laughs. They’re looking out towards the sea. The moon is a sliver, perfect.

Then, the guy jumps. And stands on the raised edge of the promenade. Ass. He’s put a whole bloody drain between them. The girl is caught by surprise. Abhi and I are snorting with laughter.

He continues to talk. The girl is looking up at him, and also probably feeling weird because this man has suddenly decided that she has bad breath or BO or something. He clearly has the upper hand.

We’re wondering how long he’ll stand there. Might as well just stand across the road from her.

Then after ten minutes he jumps back. We’re so relieved. Maybe he’s made a decision, he’s gonna live with the BO or buy her a really nice deo. She looks relieved as well. This is when he should grab his chance. We’re like “ yeah, come on, touch her shoulder, put an arm around her waist something.”

And he does. They start walking towards the road. He drops back a couple of steps. And quickly checks out her ass as she heads for an auto.


Then abhi says, “He’s probably wondering what colour undies she has on.”

I’m like “what? Is that what guys think when they stare at women’s backsides?”

“Yeah, you’re always wondering what she has on. And ideally it should be single coloured, or just black. If it’s those crappy pastel ones with little flowers and birds and shit on it, just run a mile.”

Wow. The promenade is such a revelation.

PS: this post is dedicated to the man who’s now a world authority on ladies chaddies.


Quirk Quotient said...

Plain white is a definite no no. Old crummy looking ones should also scare the man away, irrespective of their color. Same is the case for Granny Chaddies, irrespective of their color or pattern.

Men do put a lot of thought into this (and not many other things)

hyde said...

I seem to do this quite subconsciously these days- see how a woman carries herself in public and wonder what kind of undies she wears.

The knife said...

Cinemativ trivia... but I think the Lady in Summer of 42 wore white chadd's... watched it on DD in the 90s... but doubt if I am wrong


Eveline said...

Cotton hipsters. Hope i'm wearing that when my ass is being checked out. Not as much coverage as a thong, waistband hits below the belly button, doesn't ride up and hang out between your ass cheeks all day... comfortable and reliable! Oh, but I'd be in fun colors and patterns -- gotta have the personality showing a bit.

Prateek Sur said...

i really am confused as to y u have that pic on top of the post...any relation??neways leaving aside that ur posts as usual always make me laugh..and today as well i was damn tired after a long day out and ur post got back the smile on my face and made me recall my first days..and plz tell abhi its not everyone who checks out chaddies..i've a rommmate who jst checks out the boobs..other than that nothing matters to him at first sight..
try checking out my blog and commenting on the posts and try following me jst like i'm following u..

mentalie said...

heh, my regards to the world authority on ladies' chuddies. he sounds fascinating.

agent green glass said...

@quirk quotient: i agree on all counts. auntie panties are another no no. the saggy ones. i think bloomers wld be pretty cool once in a while. tho i think only stick figure thighs can wear them. damn.

@hyde: how interesting i say. you would go crazy if you were in a mumbai ladies compartment : )

@the knife: made an impression eh?

@eve: funny, that's the first thing i thought. if my ass has to be checked out what would i like to wearing? hipsters, la senza, cocoloco!

@prateek: first, than you. second, that's muthalik! lol, shall tell abhi that : ) and yup, will drop in on your blog : )

@mentalie: mean muthalik or abhi. will pass on ur regards to both. : ) when you coming....

Anonymous said...

And what makes you think they would let me in?


ani_aset said...

wow what analysis and methodology :) does he have a research manual too? :)