Abhi and I are hanging out at the promenade.
We’re watching a couple, who’ve just about starting to see each other, stumble through the awkwardness of meeting up at the promenade after work, and not having a place to go to.
She’s in allen solly for women type of pants and a shirt. He’s dressed as allen solly for men. He’s got a laptop bag on his shoulders, she’s got her large handbag.
They are walking slowly. Then they stop. Abhi and I settle back on the bench to watch.
They are maintaining a distance between themselves. Still early days, so there’s no touching just some “that guy at work is such an ass. Ha ha ha.”
She gently swinging her bag, he says something, she laughs. They’re looking out towards the sea. The moon is a sliver, perfect.
Then, the guy jumps. And stands on the raised edge of the promenade. Ass. He’s put a whole bloody drain between them. The girl is caught by surprise. Abhi and I are snorting with laughter.
He continues to talk. The girl is looking up at him, and also probably feeling weird because this man has suddenly decided that she has bad breath or BO or something. He clearly has the upper hand.
We’re wondering how long he’ll stand there. Might as well just stand across the road from her.
Then after ten minutes he jumps back. We’re so relieved. Maybe he’s made a decision, he’s gonna live with the BO or buy her a really nice deo. She looks relieved as well. This is when he should grab his chance. We’re like “ yeah, come on, touch her shoulder, put an arm around her waist .....do something.”
And he does. They start walking towards the road. He drops back a couple of steps. And quickly checks out her ass as she heads for an auto.
Then abhi says, “He’s probably wondering what colour undies she has on.”
I’m like “what? Is that what guys think when they stare at women’s backsides?”
“Yeah, you’re always wondering what she has on. And ideally it should be single coloured, or just black. If it’s those crappy pastel ones with little flowers and birds and shit on it, just run a mile.”
Wow. The promenade is such a revelation.
PS: this post is dedicated to the man who’s now a world authority on ladies chaddies.