Saturday, October 10, 2009

even confucius wouldn't know what to say

1.

Going Psycho discusses her guy, Gestapo with me.

Me: so, how’s it going with him?

Going Psycho: Same shit. He’s a leech. And now he wants to know everything about all my friends, my past loves, my work. Bloody hell, I think he even checks my sms’s.

Me: Gasp. Fuck, drop him. Hot potato dude.

Going Psycho: Ya. Really I want to.

Me: So?

Going Psycho: But he’s like nice to have handy. Like when I’m bored and in town, and want to go for a movie. Or coffee. Or just some slow evenings someone to hang with.

Me: Okay, so you just want to hang with him.

Going Psycho: Ya, but its too late now. He’s in my house all the time. And he’s stuck to me. I don’t want him around all the time. How do i do this?

Me: so let’s get this clear. You are asking me how to tell a guy that you don’t want him around all the time, only the times you are bored and want someone to go for a movie with.

Going Psycho: Okay. If you put it like that, ya, I guess.

2.

Feeling blue calls me, out of the blue.

Feeling Blue: Listen if you like a guy, and want him to sleep with you, how do you get him to do that?

Me: Um, just tell him that. Chances are he’ll be happy to oblige.

Feeling Blue: Fool. I can’t tell him that. He has to want it.

Me: Oh, well, then does he want it?

Feeling Blue: I don’t know. I want him to want it.

Me: One sec, are you asking me how you can get a guy you want to sleep with, to think that he wants to sleep with you, and it was his idea in the first place, that sort of thing?

Feeling Blue: Ya, will you just help, or are you going to be technical about it.

tap, tap...the sisterhood will always be crazy.

21 comments:

Divya said...

Mind games :P
Guys should come with a remote control anyway. Life would be so much easier.

Kokonad said...

AGG, this is priceless! :D Big time. I already like "Feeling blue"

@Divya: Yeah yeah, always blame the guy. :P

Rashmi said...

Lolzzzzzzzzzz :)
Cheers to sisterhood!

Perakath said...

Hehe great post. Let me know if Feeling Blue figures out a way; then I can use it on, say, all the women I know.

Roy said...

As a prof once said: good that you are confused. Confusion leads to clarification. Hope that you are confucius one day.

agent green glass said...

@divya: yup, remote for sure. also maybe some sort of half esp. so they guess the things we want them to guess, and don't guess the things we don't want them to know. how perfect that would be?

@kokonad: ha, i shall convey the same to Feeling Blue. and ya dude, i mean if anyone's to blame, it is the guy. that's always a fact.

@rashmi: nice complicated sisterhood is the best.

@perakath: lol. we thought about it. and there are various way. needless to say we can not give them away in an open forum. some of course involve alcohol and then blatant lying the next morning. others involve more devious things like being stuck in a lift for days!!!!

@roy: so you are saying there's a way out of this muddle. what??? and spoil all the fun? never.

Akshaya Kamalnath said...

ha ha 'blame the guy' - the most important rule indeed...

Anita :) said...

Lovely Post and very very typical of sisterhood. Or even friends. :-)

- Sugar Cube - said...

lol haha =) enjoyed reading this!

'Going psycho'
'feeling blue'

chick nicks :P

Ashley said...

ROFL!!! And so true!!!

This was a great read :)

indiegurl said...

wow.

Meghana Naidu said...

oooooo the twisted convoluted recesses of the female mind

Harini said...

lol!

btw did feeling blue figure out a way :P

Mohan said...

Would it be a wrong statement if I say people are too *MATERIALISTIC* nowadays?

Interesting situations... wondering about the solutions though!

The knife said...

In line with what Mohun said, are you setting up a consultancy. Agony Aunt AGG :)

agent green glass said...

@akshaya: thanks for dropping by. welcome to blame the guy club : )

@anita: yeah. the muddled sisterhood is such fun.

@sugarcube: yeah, going psycho and feeling blue i think can do their own TV show now. i wld suggest it to them, but they are bogged down with their problems right now.

@ashley: thank you. all credit to the two girls.

@indiegurl: Yeah wow. i know.

@meghana: twisted sisters makes sense right?

@harini: nope, she's still agonising over it. the day we figure a way we could sell it for millions.

@mohan: ummm, material girls? no, i don't think so. that went out with Madonna. they are both pretty level headed chicks, with well, some genuine problems, and you have only the guys to blame for that.

@the knife: ha ha. agony aunt AGG. i don't think so. my advice is always so complicated, and involves animals, drama lessons, fake blood, shots of Jack Daniel, lots of lying etc. no one in their right mind should ever take my advice.

Meghana Naidu said...

Definitely...
you be \m/ too?
awesome!

by the way, the comments, rather your responses to them are as much fun as the post itself

;)

oRange* said...

hilarious!
and thats exactly how we girls talk :P

The knife said...

shots of jack Daniel is very good advice ...worked for pacino

Corinne Rodrigues said...

Don't you just hate it when they ask your opinion - then have two hundred reasons why your 'solution' won't work.....since they've already decided to wallow in the s.... wonder why they waste our time asking??
C

ani_aset said...

hehe damn..simple solution...cry, when it does not go your way..its cheating, but always works for women ;)