rockstar

My friend ,the celebrity, goes to the golden temple.

She and mom get there early in the morning. Heads covered, feet dipped in the cold water outside, they step onto the freezing marble, and start making their way around the temple.

“Aithe aao ji...pehle a dekho.”

(Come this side ji ... first see this)

They turn. It’s a pimply, gangly Sardar boy. He must be 20. He’s waving his long limbs pointing to the right.

They politely smile and keep walking on.

But he’s pretty persistent. Now bow your head here, look up there, take Prasad from there, say your prayer here... he’s decided he’s not going anywhere.

They are polite, and because it’s a place of worship they don’t tell him, “buzz off fuck face” and bear with him. Though my friend says she was totally irritated with him. Every time she and her mom take pictures he wants to stand with them. She’s trying to stay calm and zen.

Finally after two and a half hours of having him plastered to her elbow, they reach the exit. At which point she firmly turns and says, “ Chaloji, thank you very much.”

He grabs her hand, my friend is startled, and before she can react he says, “ Manu singer bannna hai.” (I want to become a singer)

My friend is rolling her eyes in her head. This happens to her all the time.

She feels bad for the tall, lanky, pimply Sardar of 20, and kindly asks him, “ Who is your favourite singer?”

“ Miley Cyrus ji.”

My friend chokes. He continues.

“ Mai Miley Cyrus da bada fan hoon. Mainu kuch advice do te mai bhi miley cyrus banoo.” (I’m a big fan of Miley Cryus. Give me some advice so even I can become Miley Cyrus)

She looks at him, frantically wondering what to tell him. A sex change operation? Blonde hair? Barbie? Ken?

When suddenly it hits her.

“ Tusi kabhi give up na karna. Aur roz mandir zaroor aana.”

(You should never give up. And pray really hard)

here it is, rockstar by miley cyrus. oh dude!