Monday, December 27, 2010

cool is a scary thing




It’s that time of the year again.

When my bloody jeans get so tight that they could pass off as jeggings or heggings or whatever ugly name they’ve given stretch jeans.

Anyway, the highpoint of Christmas was to discover that we are such a liberalised society. Yes, dahling, will you please light my menthol while I let my mind get as broad as my ass.

It started with Vidya Balan and Rani Mukherjee in what was supposed to look like a hot kiss, on the front page of Mumbai Times.

Dude, really, why?

First, they don’t have the guts to do an actual lip lock. This is a cheat faces at an angle kiss.

Second, even if they did, would we want most of the population throwing up their breakfast. I mean it’s as bad as seeing Nirupa Roy smooch Reema Lagoo.

Really, who wants to watch jaded auntie’s kissing. And that too while publicising a movie based on the Jessica Lal murder? What’s the connection? It’s not Thelma and Louise ladies; it’s a true story of how a girl was murdered.

Wake up, and get your publicity right. And oh by the way, I read they did the same “mock lip lock” at the IIT Mumbai Festival.

Even Savita Bhabi has better taste.

The next revelation came on Christmas Day. Yeah, it did. At a tea party. Where I was introduced to R, and told she’s D’s partner.

Now partner is such a loose word. It could mean they work together, they are a couple-but don’t want to say they are a couple, they have had children together but now have other partners...etc etc.

The possibilities are endless. The girl sensed my confusion and said, “We are business partners. That’s it. We started our company together.”

I smiled and nodded. Okay, point noted. Partnership details duly registered.

Till an hour later, when I popped into the balcony to say bye, and she was lounging in her partners lap.

Uuuf.

This is so confusing. Is lounging on the lap the new air kissing? business meeting? conference calling?

How will I ever be up to date? Gotta go look for a shop that sells menthols.

10 comments:

relativelytruthful said...

dude. DUDE. doooooood.

for hundreds of reasons, this has got to be your best post ever. and i should know, i've read all through your archives.

Anita :) said...

Ohh I dint know this. What a weird way to publicise Jessica Lall murder. Looks desperate also.

relativelytruthful said...

wasnt sure if you would check comments on my blog, and pretty sure you havent made the connection yet, so ill say it here: i used to be spaz kumari from one-long-rant. you took perakath and me on a tour of bandra! :)

i got bored of blogspot, that's all.

Pinku said...

lovely scathing post as usual..

I have to confess I mostly introduce my husband as my partner...just wanted to clarify its short for life partner :)

Perakath said...

Relative-- Way to make a clean break, there.

AGG-- I love the art you scatter on your posts.

Eveline said...

LOL! I've been in a relationship for over a month now and when I hear about dating it sounds complicated. I'm too old for that ;)
There's dating. And there's sex. And they're different. Sometimes one is.

I don't get the fascination with the Vidya Balan and Rani Mukherjee lip-lock. Built for cheap public consumption and unremarkable overall.

mohor said...

My head is now racing with all the things I can now call the husband a the party tonight:
my love sharer?
my tantrum tolerator?
my sun blocker?
my dog fatherer?
my head eater?

Tamanna said...

People are funny things I say! Have you ever suggested an outstation trip to an unmarried couple? You should. They will have FB album-fulls of just the two of them in assorted crappy honeymoony places, but they will tell you they go with "common friends". (Is this in any way related to to what you wrote about? If not, just listen to my rant OK? Too much cetrizine and corex in my blood stream :P)

People talk too much bull crap! I wish I could do away with a bunch of them this year. Happy new year to you too :P

Sangfroid said...

How you doin, Agent?

Happy new 2011 :)

So aren't business partners supposed to lap it up? ;)

Rahul Saha said...

B-Grade Hollywood movies are the shit! Have you watched Bad Taste?