Wednesday, June 9, 2010

its free. its free. i swear its free.



Do you have parent prices?

I do.

So I walk into a store at phoenix. And see this super t shirt. Thin cotton, summer print, nice wide neck, and hallelujah, it gives an illusion of boobs (yeaaah!).

And it costs thousand bucks.

So I buy it, and then have a mild heart attack. Because my mom is waiting outside. No way can she know this plain cotton T-shirt costs thousand bucks. And no, I don’t think the fact that it's cleverly designed to give me nice tata's (term learnt from watching Beverly Hills 90210, where they spent most of their time tanning their tata's) is going to have her holding my hand and jumping with joy.

So I race out of the shop, and nervously clap my hands in glee and tell her everything inside was at a fifty per cent discount.

My mom’s eyes light up, and she says, “let’s go back in then, let me buy you some more stuff.”

I have another quick heart attack, before I mumble something about feeling faint with hunger. That always works with my mom. Immediately we turn around, and my mom spends the next hour trying to feed my face off.

But the point is I have to keep doing this. Those awesome wedges, only five hundred bucks. That fancy underwear, ha ha, don’t tell me you didn’t hear of their massive clearance sale. I cleaned them out, bought everything for four hundred bucks. And those mango pants, just six hundred bucks.

This time I had decided, “what the fuck, I’m a grown woman, why do I need to do this, I’m going to tell my mom what things really cost.”

And then I did it again.

It’s not like she’s going to freak out, it’s just that it will terribly upset her middle class values. If it costs more than thousand bucks, it should not be cotton, ideally must have ruffles, and cannot ever be a t shirt. A salwaar kameez for thousand bucks is worth it, but a t shirt never.

And underwear, let’s just say if she ever found out what it cost, she would probably drag me to la senza and demand that they refund my money, there and then.

Yeah. I think I’m a lot safer being a super bargain hunter in her eyes.


25 comments:

Divya said...

ALL THE TIME.

More so with grandparents. For my adorable grandad who's very curious how much I buy things for, its a standard formula. cut the price in half and reduce it just tad more. And he might still think it's a touch too pricey.

Oddball friend of skeletor said...

imagine my plight.. my parents are in the business where they know how much it costs to make garments.

Dad goes mental when i tell him i bought something for Rs 1000, "these people are thieves.. its ridiculous!! must not have cost them 100 bucks to make it. how are we allowing this!" :p

It never stops. and slowly i too am starting to think this way.. i am appalled when i go to Promod. heh. :s

Choco said...

Lets swap our mums AGG. Mine for some reason will never bat an eyelid at the store...Last weekend
I was like "Ooooh..Pretty pretty extremely high heeled dainty sandals for 1600/-(that I will never be able to walk more than two steps in without ruining it!). Maybe I shouldn't buy"
I was there to buy 100-250 bucks worth summer sandals...

She says "Buy it. It is 'unique'..blah blah"
Back home she says "Now how often will you wear this? Which outfit of yours will this go with? And don't you usually hate this color? Maine haan kab kahan tha? You said you liked it. When do you ever listen to me?"

Need I say more? :|

Perakath said...

But Oddball, does your dad include the cost of time spent in designing the item? As far as I know, the calculation of cost of sales is a very complex problem in accounting.

AGG-- Why so worried about Tatas? Remember, in the male brain: All Tatas Are Good. ATAG.

The knife said...

Gosh are we ever old enough for them. At least someone from Venus not gushing about her Mom's visit. We need to have a drink together

moonlite:D said...

oops,,, those parent prices are any day better!! agree with you!

Oddball friend of skeletor said...

@Perakath i think he does...if he sees some design value he is willing to spend 2000.
I personally think that brands like Promod are over priced in this country, especially when we see the kind of light cheap cotton they use.

yes, i am aware that i might grow old and be a grump who cribs about "mehengai" everytime i step in a shop. :p

Perakath said...

I've never heard of Promod... sounds like an old Bengali uncle.

Divya said...

Why did I never think of pronouncing Promod that way. It's brilliant :D

Tamanna Mishra said...

You are not alone in this, AGG! Our moms can wreck havoc on this new retail boom and raging economy that they think survive because of us :P

agent green glass said...

first two clarifications:

1. @cloudcutter: in reference to previous post. hello, who said she's fat?

2. @hyde: illusion of boobs, as in not okay okay type boobs but wonderbra model boobs!

now for the rest:

@divya: funny thing is my grandmom is pretty cool with the prices. she's like aaah, mango is nice. let's buy you something expensive. my mom on the other hand is like, thieves, scoundrels, robbers of my poor innocent daughter's hard earned money and so and so forth.

@oddball friend of skeletor: hellos. where were you? nice to see you.
promod. oh, i love promod. yeah, they are steep...but the loverly clothes...oooh. however, i'm sad to say that on a regular basis i avoid promod like the plague, and stick to H2O waters ka bangkok maal.

@choco: u lucky thing. yes? no?

@perakath: siggghhh. its a thing. but yes have been told that all tatas are good tatas before. which i am very thankful for.

@the knife: yeah, lets do the drink!

@moonlight: et tu eh?

@the oddball friend of skeletor: grumps! i will be joining you.

@perakath: heh heh. actually promod sounds more shivaji park walking marathi manoos uncle to me.

Spaz Kumari said...

ooh. I completely get it. Re boob illusion. However I have almost given up hope re making mine look more...THERE, and have decided to concentrate on my bum instead.

But I don't think I have ever seen a tshirt worth paying 1000 for. You need to wear this tshirt at meetup. It could give me hope. :)

Anita :) said...

Ya me too faced same situation with my Mom.I buy tops ate 500..600...and she gasps. I thot u bot a salwar! A top at 600? JUST a TOP?
She never knows what a top means to me :D Ever since...even for cheap tops I've started reducing half the price when I say to her. She makes me lie actually.Not my fault.
And not your fault either. We are kids who dont know the value of money in the parents' eyes.

Grace Personified said...

Oh my! I never knew so many people did this :P Like Anita says, I've started slashing the prices for Janpath and Sarojini stuff as well!

- Sugar Cube - said...

I'd rather buy something else for 1000 bucks :O

soin said...

ok where is this phoenix? i need to get this tee and gift it to mohanlal,manmohan, couple of my college mates and wear it myself on my first day to work.and buy something cheap from pavement,multiply cost by ten and present to the mother.free

Sangfroid said...

An illusion-al boob Tee. Now that must be something!! As much as it makes me see it at work, I'm sure junta would pay thousands for it only if they knew the potential :D

Pinku said...

All parents seem to be the same....

that cut price by half and reduce a lil bit more works with my mom and in laws both.

:)

The Cloudcutter said...

Mamiji and her two daughters. "Fucking fat cows." I assumed they were the mean, evil ones in the story?
Anyway, now I've forgotten what I wanted to say about this post :-)
Cheers!

The knife said...

will someone tell her that I didn't eat the yolk of the eggs

ani_aset said...

:) I'm glad i stay away from parents and never shop with them

Anonymous said...

Momma's gonna make all of your nightmares come true
Momma's gonna put all of her fears into you ...

Y? said...

hahahaha my mom would faint at la senza prices! nice blog. if i took my mom to pheonix, i will only go to big bazaar and buy dumpy 150 buck kurta

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Miri said...

OMG - we have the same MOM. oh sorry, its just us being little girls around our Moms...sigh...