ya we get along, but...i feel there's a distance between us

I will never be a good cook.

I think it’s an inborn talent.

I try and i try.

I go by the recipe. I improvise.

It still doesn’t make a difference

The food tastes, at the most, all right.

A is gifted

Mostly his food turns out great

But this morning

The poha was sublime.

Thing is i love the kitchen

I love spices and racks and bottles

I love pressure cookers

And blackened kadais

And saucepans

I think of them as people

The kadai is the old mausi

The pressure cooker is the nepali boy cook

The saucepan is a youngster

The masala ka dabba is the rolling pin’s mother in law

The oil cans are tall friends

The spice bottles are naughty children

They are one big joint family

And i’m hoping one day

They’ll welcome me in to the fold.

ode to the those who vandalise the road

Hey you pedestrian

you with the hand out

I want to drive up real close

And yank your brains out

 

I want to hear you S C R E A M

When i run over your little toe

I want to hear you yelp

When you see me next time

 

You don’t know

The green light means go

Not for you but for my car

You don’t see that at 60

It’s difficult to brake

Only becoz you stuck your stupid hand out

 

I want to be

I want to be

I want to be

The one that takes your hand out

 

Like lemmings you flood the road

You chat on the phone

You walk like you got nowhere to go

 

I want to be

I want to be

I want to be

The one that squashes your toe tonight.

You dither on the edge

You totter on the sidewalk

You see me inches away

And that's when you sprint down my path.

I curse

I swerve.

I honk.

And that's when I swear to myself

 I want to be

I want to be

I want to be

The one that gets to bite your head off

to do list

daniel craig

daniel craig

daniel craig

: )

for the sax of the heyvans and the gods

i like raja choudhary.

for those of you who know who he is, and have passed out in shock, please... go smell some smelly socks.

for those of you who are wondering, who the fuck is raja, let me enlighten you. he is the guy, (note: not a guy, but the guy) on Big Boss, the desi version of Big Brother.

He is also Shweta Tewari's estranged husband. And at this point in case you are wondering who the fuck is Shweta Tewari, it really doesn't matter, because this post is about Raja Choudhary.

Okay, let me further your tellywood knowledge. Shweta Tewari is a serial saas bahu'er.

Back to Raja Choudhary. He's an alleged wife beater. His claim to fame are serials like Your Honour and Daddy Samjha Karo. Never heard of them? Well, neither has anyone else. (And I just saved you a google search).

But I love him. Right now he's on top of my cool guy charts. For starters there's his english. Please refer to title: for the sax of the heyvans and the gods. This gem was uttered by Raja during a fight with a female contestant. Another sample: you should shame on you. Don't try to play a games.

Okay. So that's the funny part. There's also his whole attitude of being the trouble maker in the show. He needles people, provokes them into losing their temper. And sometimes loses his, big time, till you think he's going to get into a fist fight.

But I still like him. In fact I think he's hot, in a sort of very desi cave man way.

Disgusting. There really is no accounting for taste.

so cool, it's scary

sometimes it's just hard to be cool.

most times i don't even think about it. but then someone will say something like " oh you are just so cool." and then * silence* followed by *thud*. I just don't know what to say then. Should i crack a joke. should i chew gum and shrug my shoulder and say "whatever". should i look totally disinterested. or should i start a conversation about an obscure japanese designer.

most times i just go silent. while my mind wrestles with the pressures of being cool.

Ps: I'd like to add an emoticon here ... but i'm not sure if that's cool!

dirty linen

i always pee in the shower.

have you ever...

A friend, usually a woman has walked up to you. And exclaimed, “ wow...nice bag/shoes/top. Where did you buy it from?”

Have you ever looked like a rabbit caught in the glare of headlights for a minute. Then blinked rapidly and said, “ Oh, a tiny little shop behind my house. So tiny, that they don’t even have a name ya.”

Or a variation, “ Oh... just off one of those shops... what’s the name...that one...next to Mc Donalds, or was it KFC. Or...maybe Barista.”

Or then, “ This old thing. It’s been in my cupboard for ages.”

I’ve done it many times.

Liar. Liar.