your guess is as good as mine. and let's not even talk about his.

So the MET department predicts heavy rain for today.

And guess what, it hardly rains. In fact, the sun comes out and sniggers at them.

How do they do it? Every time without fail.

Last year, after four days of incessant rain the MET department declared they were caught unaware. A raincloud that was headed for Brazil decided to relieve itself on us. Dude, four days of incessant rain. Every road is flooded, every building has turned mossy green, everything is dripping wet. And it takes a bloody genius to realise, “ oh wait, that dark as thunder rain cloud...the one that had been building up for days... he wasn’t just resting his tired legs, he is...he is... the...the...MONSOON!”

This year they said the rains are coming, they have reached Kerala, so they should be here in four days. Guess what. Eleh po! Nada!

Then after two weeks they said, “Ummm...this is a deviant monsoon. But it has reached Goa. Should be here in two days.” Guess what again. The monsoon did not get a seat on the Konkan Kanya. No sign of it for days.

Then they declare that it will be a slightly deficient monsoon. What does that mean? It means my ass. It means some idiot who’s sitting with a three chits that says rain, heavy rain, no rain has no clue about anything, and is just saving his skin.

And oh by the way, just as they say that the heavens open up!

That brings me to my next question. What exactly do you need to study to become a MET officer? The ancient study of runes? Astrology for Dummies? ESP gone horribly wrong?

And what about the weatherman’s kids? What do they do? Can they insult dad by openly carrying an umbrella just after he says no chance of rain today?

And does his wife snigger when he announces, “ Today will be bright and sunny”

Or does she just run out and pull the clothes off the line?