meet ms ostrich

This is too much of a coincidence.

Last night someone who saw me after almost a decade remarked “ Oh my god, you have lost so much weight.”

Normally I would have preened and silently gone ya ya dippy do. But this time I didn’t. Because just last month I had heard someone say that. The exact same words, “ My god, you have lost so much weight.”

The thing is I never knew that I was so fat, that I have now lost so much weight. Get what I’m saying? I always thought I was like this only. Middle of the road, trying hard to stay in the not exactly thin, but not fat either bracket.

So just now, at work, I tell this to someone who has known me for the last six years. And she shrugs and say, “ ya, but you were rou…big structured.” Big structured! Means fat. And rou…means round. And round means freaking fat!

Now I should be happy that they think I’ve lost weight. But I’m thinking, shit, I was so fat, and I had absolutely NO idea.

So what else am I blissfully unaware of?

Maybe I have a squint? Maybe I have a large bald patch behind my head? Maybe my bum is tilted? Maybe I walk like a freaking duck? Maybe I have dogs breath? Maybe I am not funny, and they are humoring me? Maybe my laugh is like Janice in friends.

Maybe I am just having a little post menstrual syndrome today.