Sunday, May 3, 2009

a post in six parts

It’s been a fantastic weekend. Four days of lounging.

All sorts of random things happened. And I discovered some fantastic trivia on Japan. So I shall intersperse all my randomness with some Japan trivia.

First, I felt bad for the Knight Riders. No, not because I’m rooting for them. I am rooting for Chennai Super Kings. Only because I think Captain Courageous Dhoni is cool. But back to KK, must be awful to lose all the time. I should know, considering I’ve never won at any sport, ever. And what’s worse is that they lost to Kings XI. No, I do not like Yuvraj the sloth bear and neither do I like Preity, the Sniffer.

In Japan, they have something called the used panty vending machine. For those of you, who are already booking the first ticket to Kyoto, stop, because the government declared them illegal in 1993. Spoilsports!

But apparently they came neatly packed, with a little picture of the smiling wearer, as a sort of seal of authenticity.  Gives me an idea, maybe when the Pink Chaddi Campaigners are going through a lull, they could start a new campaign.  Make a Jap buddy, send him your used Chaddi. 

Second, I went to a Maharashtrian wedding.  I was wearing a sleeveless outfit. And waiting in queue for my food. Suddenly I see the catering guys going nudge nudge, grin grin. I realise my tattoos are tickling them pink. I take my dahi vada and go.

Later I come back for the gulab jamun, and can’t find a spoon. I ask the guy behind the counter for one. He turns and yells to his friends, “ Aye, Gajni madam ko chamach dena!”

Back to Japan.  They had a problem. Watermelons would just not fit into the refrigerator.  Their round shape came in the way of neatly squeezing them in. What would you and I have done? Chop the bloody thing up and store it. But no, not in japan.

They decided to grow square watermelons in glass cubes. And they pulled it off. Now they’re growing them in triangles because they’re easy to stock in the supermarket.

Dude, I feel like tapping the side of my head like Asterix. These Japanese are crazy!

My mom. Again. We’re going to shift house end of the month. And she calls me this weekend and says, “ Hope you are packing.” I’m like, no, I’m reading a book. She sniffs in disapproval and then tells me, “why do you need packers? Waste of money. Go to your nearest grocer and get cartons, and start packing your house.”  

When I protest and say, but...I’m not going to get leave to sit around and pack, she sniffs in triumph and says, “That’s why you should have been packing these four days, not wasting your time reading.”

Gaaah. That’s me gnashing my teeth. How does she do it?

Japan. Again.  An egg is not an egg. A cup that literally offers you coffee, tea or me.  Stress balls that err, don’t look like balls. And a lot more on a site that promises ... “ Toasty feelings” and claims to have “ perfect for gag gifts to embarrass your friends (with good sense of humour).”

I’m rolling on the floor. Good way to end the weekend.

PS: In case you are even more vela than me.


Prasoon Joshi said...

'Gajni madam'! Amazing. And we bloggers think only we have sense of humour ;)
I always thought those different shaped watermelons were a 'biotech karishma' sorts, growing them in cube shaped pots is such an invention! (its like the case with the US-NASA vs the Russians when they wanted to have a 'thing' that could write in outer space (with no gravity and pressure issues), after a lot of research the US guys invented a 'zero gravity pen', the Russians used a pencil instead :D

agent green glass said...

prasoon... i love that zero gravity story. always makes me feel yay! the underdogs win!

Kadambari said...

I read about those square watermelons. Stumbled upon I guess. And wending machines for panties! These Japanese!! What not they do. It does make up for laughs though.

P.S. So, Have you packed yet?

Dr. Rupa Shah said...

Four cool days of doing 'nothing'!!!

doingmything said...

Gajni madam!!!!!!! Priceless!

♥ÐÅyÐяєÅмє®♥ said...

gajni madam was ultra cool compliment :P

and winning aganst mom is a next to impossible task

This is that said...

You are a funny funny girl...

agent green glass said...

@kadambari: jale pe namak! have i packed yet? nope, but i've finished two books. and my mom and i are back to speaking with each other, as of last night. whew.
@rupa: doing absolutely nothing :) aaah!
@all those who liked gajni madam: heh heh. i thought it was hilarious too. almost choked on my gulab jamun.

Divya said...

Gajni Madam?? Hahahahaha!

Used panties and square watermelons..? eh.. odd...